I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Man, jail baloney is awful.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
