Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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