The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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