I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
is wine microwaveable?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize