I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
bring money and cleavage
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We have started to decorate penises.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just gargled with NyQuil
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
