belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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