ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize