I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
