Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
