I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
