Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
