I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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