Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize