Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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