; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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