You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
