he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
