I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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