Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
