I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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