btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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