buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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