Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
