Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
