nut hugger
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You smell like stripper and shame
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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