It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
