Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
