i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize