told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
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The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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