I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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