I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
