you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
