my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize