We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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