Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Two words: nipple clamps
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