careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
