Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
