So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am one with the molecules
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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