dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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