Can Purell be used as lube?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.