is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish you could order shots online.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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