Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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