i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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