walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
