Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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