Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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