I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
