I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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