I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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