This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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