i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
