I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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