Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
