all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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