They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
