We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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