i think my tv is drunk
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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