weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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