did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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