Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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