god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
