but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
